Discretion
by Lili Locket
Summary: Anastasia Steele made herself available for any man that wanted her... as long as he paid the correct price. Meeting Christian Grey set her Earth on fire, now Anastasia would pay the price, but what would it cost her?
1. Chapter 1

Anastasia padded from the bathroom, sections of damp hair hanging down her neck, her soft robe tied loosely about her slender waist, she took a sip of the red wine that swirled lazily around the glass in her hand.

Saturday nights were always the most demanding and this night was no different.

Her phone buzzed, moving slightly across the surface of the coffee table, exhaling lightly she picked it up, catching her bottom lip between her teeth as she read the waiting message.

'I'll meet you at the bar, I'll be wearing a white shirt, open at the neck… grey suit and a glass of bourbon' – "interesting…" she whispered to herself.

She wriggled into the tightest black dress she owned, her cheeks flushed as she sat at her dressing table, memories of her childhood scattered around her, graduation snaps blue tacked to the mirror, her fingers brushed over the old bottle of perfume that had once belonged to her grandmother… she couldn't escape the past, and wasn't actually sure if she really wanted to.

Brushing a strand of hair from her face Anastasia took a deep breath before entering the bar, this was not an unfamiliar feeling, it was the repeat of a nightmare, one she found herself in at least 3 times a week.

The bar housed discrete booths, dimly lit with a solitary candle in the centre of each table. Couples held hands whilst gazing into each others eyes; and then there were those that barely noticed each other's company as they both sat, heads deep in their mobile phones.

Her eyes darted across the room, waiting to locate him… his earlier description proving more than accurate as he turned on his stool, his eyes locked with hers, she hadn't expected this, she hadn't expected him.

"Anastasia?" his voice husky and deep, truly mesmerising "I'm Christian… it's lovely to finally meet you"

She could barely recognise herself, her sudden coyness a surprise as she stumbled over her words.

"Uh… yes. lovely to meet me, um… no! sorry!... YOU! It's lovely to meet you also… Christian"

A brief smile flickered across his mouth, followed by a slow lick of his tongue across his bottom lip.

"Drink?" He gestured towards the bar, his body turning away from her as he caught the attention of the barmaid, not that it was a difficult task, she'd been polishing the same glass for most of their conversation, swooning over him as he spoke "A glass of sauvignon blanc for the lady… please"

She nodded and reluctantly turned away to service his request.

He studied her with cool eyes, she allowed herself a second to really take him in… his hair slightly mussed but not scruffy, a light shade of stubble against his chin, a five 'o'clock shadow more than designer.

His lips parted slightly as the corner of his mouth raised.

He looked every inch the business man, He'd certainly only recently escaped the office as she noticed evidence of a navy silk tie poking out from his jacket pocket.

"Tough day at the office?" she questioned, her fingers toying against the stem of the wine glass that now sat on the bar in front of her.

He scoffed slightly, taking a quick sip of his drink "are we going to make small talk all night Anastasia?" He leaned forwards and she noticed his eyes squint slightly as he watched her legs cross, the dress rising up a little, exposing just enough of her thigh to make his cheeks flush.

"I don't know Christian… I'm on your time right now, you tell me what you'd like to talk about!"

Her words making her head fill with a multitude of questions that she'd like to be firing at him…

'Why had He chosen this bar?'

'Did he have nothing better to do with his weekend?" and finally, the most pressing question of all….

'What need did a man like him have to pay for the company of a girl like her?'


	2. Chapter 2

Anastasia found herself absorbed by his fluid conversation, that intense gaze hardly left her as He told her of his charity work, the multi million-dollar business that He'd poured blood, sweat and tears into.

It shouldn't have been a shock to her, she was used to wealthy men requiring some of her time, desperate for a little company and a friendly ear.

But He was different, there was nothing that resembled desperation about him, and then there were his rugged good looks, boyish grin and seductive charm, and again that question circulated in her head

'what need did a man like him have to pay for the company of a girl like her?'

Anastasia tugged against her dress, feeling his eyes burning into the creamy skin against her thigh, all confidence had left her and she found herself shrinking against the bar stool.

"What the hell is wrong with you!?" she muttered under her breath.

"I'm sorry?" He raised an eyebrow in a questioning glance; taking a much needed gulp of wine she shook her head "oh, no… nothing…"

Something had to happen, she couldn't stand the tension any longer, this wasn't her, she was confident, she was a go-getter! but not right now… she was in his world...

He ran his thumb against his bottom lip, studying her, the earlier warmth in his voice suddenly replaced with intensity "are you curious, Anastasia?"

Her eyes darted across the room, a ripple of excitement travelled through her body, causing her skin to prickle.

"uh, well… kinda! I'm just wondering why I'm here, Christian?"

His eyes narrowed, shifting forwards He closed the already minimal gap between them, his fragrance swept forwards – a mixture of cinnamon and oak, sending her heightened senses into overdrive.

"Isn't this what you do, Anastasia? You sell your time, finding yourself in the Company of men that are in need of you… and your… services…"

The barmaid cleared her throat "can I get you anything else, Sir?"

Christian reluctantly stole his gaze from Anastasia and pushed a credit card across the bar "no thanks, we're moving on"

They stepped outside and She welcomed the cool night air brush against her face, his hand rested against her shoulder and instant warmth circulated beneath his touch.

"Anastasia, I'd like you to come home with me?"

She turned to face him and found herself lost, lost in everything about him. Her instincts screaming at her, urging her to walk away now, whilst she still could, her instincts lost the battle.

"yes, Christian. I'll come home with you"

She could feel her heart hammering against her chest, every breath she took a little shakier than the last.

It wasn't only the intimidating skyscraper building that He owned and lived in causing her to regret the carless response to his question, it was the tightness of her chest whenever he moved close to her, the constraints of the lift that she now found herself in impacting on the intimacy of their space even further.

She needed to break the silence, distract herself from the situation… and the only thing she could think to ask proving to be the most ridiculous thing that could leave her mouth.

"so, do you live alone?"

She chastised herself inwardly, almost hoping he'd not heard her, but of course… he had, his response tinged with a hint of laughter.

"Well now, it wouldn't look good, would it, Anastasia? me bringing home a sexy, young lady to the wife!"

She felt the colour touch her cheeks, one Nil to Christian Grey!

The elevator halted suddenly, she exhaled with relief, almost running from it's constraints as the doors opened.

Stopping she let out a low whistle, trying to take in the view before her.

A vast expanse of open space, high polished marble floors, the walls made up of glass panes, each floor to ceiling and showing exactly what the City had to offer.

He allowed her to go ahead, watching as she ran her fingertips over the grand piano, the place he poured his emotions into.

She turned, facing him, her eyes wide with wonder and excitement "Christian, it's stunning!"

"Yes… it is…" his response paired with hungry eyes and Anastasia couldn't be sure if it was the apartment or herself that he was referring to.

She felt her phone vibrate from within her black clutch bag, causing her heart to sink suddenly; in her desperation to extend her time with the intriguing Christian Grey she had forgotten the rules, she'd forgotten about Jack!


	3. Chapter 3

Christian prowled across the expansive of the living area, his shirt button's now opened further, the navy jacket He'd been wearing discarded, he handed the glass to Anastasia, a current surging through her as his forefinger brushed against her knuckles.

The leather dipped as he lazed beside her, crossing one leg over the other.

Anastasia pulled against her bottom lip, finally finding her voice "so now that you have me here, what exactly are you planning on doing with me, Christian?"

"Well Anastasia, that's really up to you, I think we should discuss your options, don't you?"

Nodding her head, Anastasia found herself locked in the moment, and she knew that right now she would agree to anything he wanted.

The vibration of her phone caused the spell to break once more "you need to get that?" He asked, tilting his glass in the direction of her bag that lay on the large glass coffee table.

She hesitated, knowing what she should do but also what doing that would mean; the moment would be tainted and she wasn't ready for that, moments like this didn't present themselves often.

Taking a large gulp of wine, she flashed her knockout smile "No, its nothing important, you have my full attention, Christian"

He stood suddenly, taking her by surprise, holding out his hand towards her "come with me? I have something I want to show you"

She placed her palm against his, trusting him instantly. He led her along the clinical corridor, the white walls and polished wooden floor making his presence even more obvious.

He stopped outside a closed door, she could sense the change in his breathing, he didn't let go of her hand, instead he held it tighter; she wondered if it was his way of ensuring that she didn't run…

For the first time since she'd been in his presence Anastasia felt as though she had control, Christine urged her to face him, his hand releasing hers as she felt his fingers rest upon her waist.

"You wonder why I pay for this… company, Anastasia?" she felt her mouth go dry, wondering how He knew so certainly her thoughts, nodding lightly she placed her palm against the wall, feeling a sudden need to steady herself.

He continued, his husky voice demanding her full attention.

"I live a particular lifestyle, Anastasia; it's not everyone's choice and it doesn't allow for a full time relationship"

She couldn't help but follow the movement of his mouth, studying each word as it fell from his lips.

"Please don't think I was careless in my selection of you, I don't take this lightly and I don't bring home every… companion that I request the company of" she gasped slightly as he lifted his hand, her body instantly recoiling at the touch of his thumb as it brushed over her chin.

"You're different to the others, and a part of me… a big part of me knows that introducing you to my world is a mistake"

His admission catching her by surprise, but still he continued "but that hasn't stopped me, Anastasia… I want to show you my world, I think you can handle what is beyond this door"

It took her a second for her eyes to adjust to the dim lighting, blood red walls encased in a padded silk, her eyes widened as they grew accustomed to their surroundings.

Looking back towards him Christian nodded, indicating that it was ok to venture further inside.

A complex river of channels spread across the ceiling, chains hanging precariously, an array of wall mounted devises ranging from slick riding crops, whips, shackles and plenty more that she didn't pretend to recognise.

Bile rose in her throat and the earlier trust she had dispersed, replaced by a rush of fear and uncertainty, Christian had placed himself in front of her, a look of excitement visible upon his seductive face.

"Well… what do you think, Anastasia?" his voice held a tinge of uncertainty.

Finally finding her voice she stepped back, removing herself from his reach "what do I think? WHAT DO I THINK!?" the fear now replaced with disbelief and anger.

"I think you're just like every other sick bastard I have the misfortune of spending time with, Christian! That's what I think!"

He shook his head, unknowing taking place of the excitement "Anna… I…I…didn't…"

She held up her hand, firm and certain "No! Christian! No don't tell me you didn't expect anything, or that you didn't know I'd not be up for…. this… this freak show!"

He looked wounded, almost enough for her to regret her harsh words… almost.

She turned on her heel and marched back down the same corridor that had previously offered the comfort of his presence.

"Anastasia, please… just wait a moment! Let me explain! At least let me talk to you!"

She winced as He curled his fingers about her forearm, digging into her flesh, pressing against those sensitive areas that she'd kept well hidden from him.

Christian unfortunately didn't miss a trick, noticing the obvious discomfort on her face he turned her forearm slowly, pulling her closer towards him as he did so.

The mottled purple bruises with the backdrop of her creamy skin lay in full display for him and he finally released his grip, instead trailing his fingertips lightly against their surface, causing her skin to prickle in the wake of his touch.

"What is this? Where did you get these from!?" the venom in his voice confusing to her, she didn't matter, not to him! So why should this bother him so much!?

Pulling her arm away she placed her hand protectively over the tenderness that now throbbed, thanks to him!

"It is absolutely none of your business, Christian! I am none of your business! All I am to you is another piece of meat, someone to see to your needs, I don't matter… so please don't pretend that I do!"

He closed the meagre space between them, his eyes blazon with anger and frustration.

"You're here, in my home, on my time! You are my business, Anastasia… and I take my business very seriously!"


	4. Chapter 4

** Apologies for the delay in updating, my work life has been crazy busy!**

Anastasia caught her breath, the cool night air offering a temporary relief, closely followed by a chill that resonated inside her chest.

Pulling her jacket across her body she found herself lost in the throng of bodies moving fast paced through London's West End; she had to get as far away from Christian Grey as possible.

Anastasia couldn't recall very much of her life before London, her Father had never been a presence in her life, her mother favoured vodka over time with her daughter – it truly was an American Fairy-tale!

She allowed herself to drift back to the day her world changed, Pearce had been her Knight in shining amour, the man she had convinced herself was sent to rescue her.

Anastasia had just turned 17 and the successful nightclub owner had set his sights firmly on her the day she landed a job with him.

She had lied about her age of course, no respectful establishment in their right mind would hire a 17-year-old to service alcohol to it's clientele.

She believed he would be the one to take her away from the nightmare that was her life, and in some respects he did.

Pearce had ideas of grandeur and America hadn't fulfilled his expectations, he wanted another challenge and he'd wanted that challenge to be in another Country; so as soon as she'd turned 18 Pearce sold the club, they'd packed up their belongings and landed in London's Covent Garden.

Pearce had secured the new premises for his venture which in his words was to be 'an upmarket gentlemen's club' more commonly known as a strip joint!

However, Pearce's plans hadn't quite worked out they way he had imagined, competition had been fierce and the club closed its doors within a year; swallowing Pearce's savings and any reputation he had earned himself.

That had been the moment Anastasia's life had once again taken a nosedive into a dark and painful hole.

Pearce turned to the same devil that had gained the love of her Mother, alcohol became his best friend and an escort agency became his most favoured business venture, he hadn't wasted any time in making Anastasia his most lucrative investment.

Resting her hand against the tender spot on her arm Anastasia allowed the crowd to carry her along, a vision of Christian stuck firmly in her mind.

Her head buzzing with excuses she knew that she would have to feed Pearce, she needed a reason for her absence and no money to show for it!

Running out on a Client was something she'd not done for a long time, not since the beginning; Anastasia had been a naive 19-year-old when Pearce introduced her to her new seedy life and it's all she had ever known since.

"Anastasia!" the familiar voice echoed through her head, breaking the hellish thought's that surged through her.

She felt her arm jolt and her breath caught as He pushed her into the empty shop doorway, his hands pinning her arms securely above her head.

His mouth positioned so close that she could taste the sweet wine on his breath, his cologne intoxicating and the steely gaze of his eyes embedded in her.

"You ran out on me!" the statement came with a slight growl as his husky voice licked against her ears.

His hold tightened and she felt a hint of discomfort around her wrists, not pain though… not like when Pearce pinned her down…

"People don't just run out on me, Anastasia" she finally found her voice, managing a stumbled response "I… I… couldn't stay, Christian, it's best for us both this way"

"Why!?" he questioned, his grip now softening, along with his gaze, the concern and confusion in his voice made her heart ache "this wasn't supposed to happen! You were supposed to be just another job! But it's turned into so much more, you want so much more and I can't give you what you want, Christian…."

Dropping one hand slowly he brushed his thumb against her cheek, allowing it to sweep briefly over her bottom lip.

"You're already giving me what I want, Anastasia…" she was aware of her chest rising and falling, but it felt like every second with him caused her to hold her breath.

"I don't understand, how can I possibly give you what you want? You've only just met me, Christian! And what you've asked of me… I've ran from! I can't commit myself to you"

His hand stilled, the warmth of his body seeping through her jacket and embracing her.

Her tone dropped and the realisation of her situation hit her once more "I'm a one-night deal, Christian and there are rules, I've already broken most of them in just a few hours of your company!"

He moved back, just slightly but it was enough to make her body regretful "I know all about rules, Anastasia… I have my very own set, and as for you being a one-night deal… what if we could change that?"

She found her feet and steadied herself, leaving the comfort of his closeness as she pulled her jacket tighter about her and stepped away, just putting enough distance between them so that she didn't do something she'd regret.

"I don't understand… change it how?"

The corner of his mouth turned up, flashing a confident, wicked grin "Give me another chance, Anastasia? Let me cook for you, tomorrow evening… let me show you just how wonderful my world can be…"


	5. Chapter 5

The mellow sounds of _'Claude Debussy'_ filled the lavish bathroom, Christian welcomed the intense heat of the shower beating down against his body; images of the mysterious Anastasia crept into his head, her innocent smile, the spark of life in her hazel eyes, the fragrance of coconut from her long mousy brown hair, the softness of her creamy skin…

He felt himself harden instantly, groaning with disappointment at the nights ending he forced himself out of the daydream.

She'd rejected him! It was an unfamiliar feeling to Christian, He didn't suffer rejection… not from anyone!

Pulling on a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt He padded into the large study, it's panoramic views across London captivating but not so new lay before him; it didn't matter how wonderful the view might be, it wasn't her… it wasn't Anastasia.

Despite his regret at how the night had panned out, Christian held on to the hope that she would change her mind, give him a chance to prove that he meant what he had said, to prove that he would bring delight and pleasure to her life.

Taking off her shoes she stalked through the darkness, taking the lack of light as a good sign, Pearce would be passed out, preferably on the couch, meaning it would give her until the morning to think of a believable excuse for her lack of presence and money.

Her stomach turned as the stench of sweat and vodka filled her nostrils "where's the money?"

She felt her heart sink, she wasn't prepared for this, not even close…

Pearce stood in the kitchen doorway, his bulky frame slumped against it's frame, lifting the bottle of vodka to his mouth he reached for the light switch.

"Well? The money, Ana… where is it?"

Moving closer to him she held her hand out, her eyes searching his face for a level of humanity "forget the money, Baby… we can deal with that in the morning, right now I want you to take me to bed… I've missed you this evening"

This didn't always work, but she hoped that tonight it would.

His face softened and her powers of persuasion seemed to be working, relief flooded through her as he took her hand.

Tugging her back he dropped the bottle of vodka and gathered a handful of her hair, pulling her head closer to his, she bit down on her bottom lip, pushing the pain away "Please Pearce! You're hurting me!" she winced as his hand took a tighter hold on her hair, wrapping it further around his fist.

She felt the bile rise in her mouth as He spat venomous words against her neck "So how was he? Too good to charge?"

She didn't bother trying to fight him off, it wasn't worth it when he was like this, it wouldn't make any difference.

"He… did…. He didn't turn up" she stammered, the pain intensifying as he jolted her head once more.

"Oh really? Well where have you been then, Ana? You've been gone hours" he sniffed her neck "and you smell of cheap cologne and wine!"

She welcomed the freedom as he suddenly released her hair, pushing her towards the bedroom with his now free hand.

"Get in there, strip and be ready for me" He sneered as she realised what that meant.

Leaving Pearce snoring, Anastasia eased herself carefully out of the bed, turning to check his status one last time before she headed into the front room.

 **'** **I'll be at your apartment at 9PM, Christian… I'm ready for you to show me'**

She chewed the inside of her mouth as she watched the message send, was this the right decision? Had she just delved into a World that she stood no chance of understanding? What would she tell Pearce?

The doubt whirled around in her head but it was exciting and at the same time thrill surged through her body… He could be just what she needed.


	6. Chapter 6

Christian paced across the marbled floor, He had given Taylor the night off, wanting to avoid any chance of interruption, He couldn't mess it up again!

Stealing a glance at his watch his hopes took a nosedive "9:22! She's late" Maybe she'd had a change of heart… or worse still a better offer!

Heat flushed through his body as He felt the vein pulsing strongly in the side of his neck, the thought of Anastasia with anyone else repulsed him.

Ana gripped the rail of the elevator, her palm sweating as she concentrated on steadying her breathing, she'd considered turning around and going home at least 10 times; not understanding why Christian had this effect on her had been the driving force in her continuing, she needed to know what it was about him, what made him different to all the others, what made her want more…

The elevator doors opened and she found herself propelled back into his world, his hand clamped about her waist as she felt that familiar heat sneaking through her clothes once more.

"You came!" he spoke with surprise and relief, his eyes darting about her face, drinking in every inch of her, as if he was making mental notes, stamping each detail of her inside his fascinating mind.

Running her tongue against her bottom lip she gently nodded, a curtain of soft hair hanging down against her cheek, she froze as he lifted his hand and tucked the strands of rebellious hair behind her ear.

"Do I make you nervous, Anastasia?" his soft voice soothed her as she allowed her body to relax in his arms. Those intense eyes still concentrated on her face.

"A little" she whispered

Christian allowed the faint evidence of a smile flick across his mouth as His fingers lingered against her neck, wrapping the ends of her hair around his forefinger.

Ana held her breath as he murmured his words over her mouth, his lips teasing her own with their presence "I seem to have that effect on most people, Anastasia"

Suddenly breaking the momentary spell Christian led her towards the impressive kitchen "take a seat" He gestured towards one of the red leather stools that faced the large island in the centre of the kitchen.

Slipping off her jacket Ana followed his instruction; She observed Christian moving expertly around the well equip kitchen, his slender fingers worked with precision as He chopped vegetables before adding them to a wok.

"Hope you like stir fry?" He caught her off-guard as she stumbled to find a reply "I do… yes. You enjoy cooking, Christian?"

He laughed warmly and Ana couldn't help but join in, it was infectious, he was infectious.

"I enjoy trying!" Christian's eyes moving from the pan to Ana.

"How about you? What delights do you take pleasure in on your day's off? Any interesting hobbies, Anastasia?"

The earlier unease set in once more, she didn't want to talk about her life, she wasn't there to open up and have him take pity on her.

"No hobbies, and no days off… not for a popular girl like me" He raised an eyebrow and smirked "business before pleasure, Anastasia? I like a woman that takes her career seriously"

Ana's stomach lurched as her phone vibrated from within her bag, it was him, she didn't need to look.

Christian narrowed his eyes, not once stealing them from her "why don't you get that? It could be important"

Ana shook her head, reaching for the glass of red wine he had put before her "it'll just be a Client and I'm on your time now, Christian"

Turning off the heat under the sizzling pan Christian stalked around the island, his scent filled her senses as he got closer, Ana caught her breath as he positioned himself between her slightly parted legs, his hands sliding up her thighs, setting her skin on fire as the material of her dress rose.

He searched her face, searching for a clue, something that told him who she was, what she was about.

"Why do you do it, Anastasia?"

She licked her lips, hoping that the slight trace of moisture might allow her to provide him with an answer, something, anything that might shut him up, that might stop him from prying any further.

Ana had accepted her life, she didn't take pleasure or comfort from it, not even a bit… but it was all she had, it was all she had known for so long.

"Because it's what I'm good at, sometimes you just have to rely on whatever talents you have, not all of us have an endless supply of cash to fall back on when things go wrong, Christian"

His hands stilled, those inquisitive eyes staying with her, she could feel him inside her head, toying with her emotions, digging deep.

"I don't fall back on anything, Anastasia… I take risks" his hand now pressed against the back of her neck, his fingers brushing back and forth "I've taken a risk on you"

"You have?" She whispered, her voice clearly shaken, her whole being fixated on him, her body willing to give in to the power he quite clearly had over her.

"Yes, Anastasia… I have. You see, I felt something the moment you stumbled into my life, I know you! And the reason I know you is because you're .me! You thirst for a way out, an escape from who you are"

His hand now cupping the side of her face as he circled the pad of his thumb across her bottom lip.

"I can give you that escape, Anastasia… I can make everything else go away"

His words echoed in her mind…

 _"…_ _I can make everything go away"_

She pushed against the stool, feeling her feet come into contact with the ground as his hand dropped back to his side.

"But it will come back again, Christian… it always comes back! There aren't enough hours in the day to make it all go away"

Her cheeks flushed crimson as she felt the overwhelming rush of tears pool at her eyes, quickly wiping the back of her hand over her face she composed her best attempt at a smile.

"You can loose yourself in me though, Christian… I can help you, I can be anything you need me to be. You see, that's why I do what I do… because men like you, they need me! In those sordid moments I matter, I'm all they can think of, I'm all they want, and that's a power I can never replace"

Christian stepped back, his confusion obvious, pushing his hand through his hair He studied her, taken aback by her sudden admission.

"You feel like it gives you power, Anastasia? I'm confused… which part of what you do empowers you? Do you control who, when, where? Do you live this life out of choice?"

Christian realised her discomfort with the conversation, but he needed to understand, he needed to know what made her tick, what made her do what she did.

He watched as she swept her tongue across her mouth (god he wanted to suck that tongue and take that soft, bottom lip between his teeth)

"No one lives 'this' life out of choice, Christian… but we make the best of what we have! And in answer to your question – yes I do have control, I might not control, who, when or when but I control my body! I control what happens to my body… a control that you quite clearly want to take away from me!"

Christian rushed forwards, his hands resting against her hips, his tone soft and calm "No, Anastasia… you've got it wrong, you've got me wrong! There are rules for the life I live, there are rules for the things I want to do to you.

All you need to do is say the word and I stop! don't you see… you have ultimate control at all times"

She shivered as his lips brushed against her neck, whispering a trail across her skin.

"Give my World a chance, Ana… give me a chance, I'll make you feel more alive than you've ever felt, more alive then you'll ever feel again"


	7. Chapter 7

The familiar feeling of unease tinged with excitement filled Ana as Christian led her into 'that' room again, the lighting more subdued this time, creating an eerie darkness, but that deep crimson still very evident as Ana challenged herself to take in each and every detail.

She noticed a distant, mellow sound coming through the speakers, she didn't recognise it, classical music wasn't a familiar genre to her.

Her skin prickled under the weight of Christian's hand against her waist, his fingers curled about the material of her dress, his breath coming in waves across the back of her neck.

"You look beautiful in here, Anastasia… it suits you"

A faint smile took hold of her mouth as she allowed him to coax her body around, his hand never leaving her waist as she turned to meet his fixed gaze.

Those cool eyes moving over her face, studying her, constantly studying her.

Ana felt a steady heat move over her skin as she watched his attention move, his eyes drinking in every part of her body and despite her past experiences Ana had never felt so exposed, so desired, so needed….

Christian's mind tinged with an unfamiliar feeling of unknown, confusion; He had never felt so out of control, especially not in his own environment; an environment he had built and adapted to suit his need for the utmost control at all times.

His senses were completely overcome by her, the sweet, vanilla fragrance, the softness of her creamy skin, those full lips… closing his eyes he envisaged her cuffed, blindfolded… her body ready to accept him.

"Christian… are you ok?" Her delicate voice brought him back to reality, he opened his eyes and felt a wash of relief, it wasn't a dream… she was really there, she was in his World, so eager to please him.

Lifting his hand, he trailed his fingers across her check and down onto her neck "You will make the perfect submissive, Anastasia…" his eyes holding her attention "so keen, so willing and so intrigued…"

Despite his confidence over her willingness Christian found himself wanting something other than domination over her, he felt responsible for how she felt, which was something he'd never given much consideration to in the past; the women he enjoyed his hobby with knew what they were getting into, they gave themselves without thought, but she was different… he had never done this before, he had never sought a new partner in this way.

Taking her hand firmly in his Christian kissed the tip of fingers, holding her forefinger inside his mouth as he swirled his tongue against it, his gaze never leaving her as she closed her eyes, lips parted, short and shallow breaths escaping.

Releasing her finger Christian leaned closer, brushing his mouth against her lips "I'm going to take it slow, Anastasia… but do not mistake me for a gentle lover"

He felt her body shiver as his hands brushed down over her neck, his fingers taking their time, leaving no room for error.

Hooking his thumbs beneath the straps of her dress Christian eased them down, feeling his instant excitement as the silky material fell down further, exposing her pert breasts, every inch of her was sheer perfection.

Anastasia felt a current surge through her body as his soft but controlled fingers moved against her skin, she felt nothing short of desired.

Her senses on fire and every sound, every thought, every feeling was him.

Cool air licked against her skin as she felt the material of her dress gradually fall to the floor, her eyes remaining closed as she waited for more, she yearned for more.

The realisation that she wasn't getting more came quite instantly, his overwhelming presence left as quickly as it had arrived and her body mourned the loss of him.

Slowly opening her eyes Anastasia adjusted to the room's atmosphere once more, Christian stood before her, his jeans undone, shirt untucked and partially unbuttoned, his hair tousled and a soft shadow encasing his jaw, he looked beautiful, perfect…. Horrified.

"What has happened to you, Anastasia?"

Any warmth within Ana's body had dispersed and was replaced by a feeling of unease, she felt vulnerable… ashamed.

Grabbing the dress from it's place at her feet Ana made an attempt to wrap it about her body.

Christian rushed forwards, his fingers clutching at the material as he snatched it away; a darkness settled in his eyes his jaw clenched as he spoke between gritted teeth.

"Who did this? TELL ME, ANASTASIA!"

She stepped back, but she had nowhere to go, she was his captive and there wasn't a way out of this situation.

"It doesn't concern you, Christian… please…. Just let it go!"

She recoiled as his hand reached out, a pleading look upon his face as fingers gently touched against the mottled bruise on her hip.

"This shouldn't happen, not to you!"

Anastasia felt a desperation to make it go away, her life was consumed by a violence that she had no control over, but he had offered something different, he had offered something she'd never had… choice!

Resting her hand against his she guided his fingers lower, sucking against her bottom lip as he pressed against the damp material of her underwear.

Shaking his head Christian created distance between them once more.

"I can't… I'm sorry, Anastasia but I can't do this to you! I'm a lot of things, but a Monster isn't one of them"

She watched his gaze fixated to the bruising, his eyes busily searching for more.

She pleaded with him in desperation "Please, Christian! Please don't let this affect you, don't let it determine what happens! It's nothing! It doesn't matter, it doesn't change anything"

Finally lifting his gaze to meet with hers she saw the one thing she hoped she never would, she saw sympathy, she saw pity….

Hurriedly she pulled the silk material over her head, covering up her secrets once more.

"I understand, Christian… I really do! You wouldn't be the first man that refused to accept damaged goods, and that's just what I am to you isn't it? I'm tainted!"

He followed her hasty exit from the room, reaching the elevator door before she could get any further, his arm forcing its way in front of her, his mouth against her ear.

"Let me take care of you, Anastasia... let me help, I can help"


	8. Chapter 8

She felt her phone vibrate from within her bag, it would be Jack… she'd rescheduled their usual Thursday evening meet the night before, she'd been to caught up with Christian instead and now here she was again, allowing him to monopolise her time once more.

"Christian, please… just let me go! I have to go… I have somewhere to be and I'm late"

Clenching his jaw Christian reluctantly stepped away, thrusting his hands in his jeans pocket in an attempt to restrain himself.

"Stay here, stay with me, Anastasia… please? Just talk to me, you don't have to live like this, you shouldn't have to live like this…."

Ana turned to face him, her breath caught in her throat as she took sight of his bare chest, his shirt still gaping open from their earlier encounter. There was something different about him now, he looked concerned, panicked even.

"Christian this is my life! It's been my life for as long as I can remember, I don't get to just take a holiday from it, I don't get to pretend!"

He stepped closer once more and she felt his scent cloud her mind, everything about him distracting.

His voice softer now as He studied her for sign of relent "I meant what I said, Anastasia… I can help you!"

"How, Christian? How will you help me? Will you whisk me away, move me into your little dungeon, get me out on 'special' occasions? Or will you make me your next project, set me up with a nice little apartment, get some shrink to dissect my brain and see what makes me tick?"

Lifting her hand Ana gently traced the edge of his opened shirt "you're a good man, Christian but we both know I'm useless to you, I'm tainted and you've already made it abundantly clear that you can't see past that… Christian you didn't bring me to you home or into your life to 'help me' you brought me here to satisfy your needs, and my life won't allow that… so there's nothing more to say, apart from it was nice to meet you and thank you…. Thank you for making me forget, even if it was for a second"

Christian watched her leave, everything inside urged him to stop her; and yet he held back and watched her leave.

Christian poured himself a generous measure of whisky and ventured out to the balcony that stretched the front of his penthouse, the lights of London shimmered, a bustling City offering promise and excitement, all those people rushing about, each one of them a purpose, somewhere to be.

Clutching the glass Christian took pleasure in the cool night air as it slipped inside his open shirt, He searched for her, his eyes darting about at the throng of life below, where was she now? Who was she with? Was she ok?

"FUCK IT!" he growled, throwing the tumbler against the floor, He felt a current of anger and frustration surge through him, it was unlike anything he'd felt before.

And in that moment Christian made a decision, He wouldn't give up on her, she was different, He'd known that the moment He met her, the moment he'd witnessed her smile, heard her giggle, looked into her lost eyes….

Pulling his phone from his pocket He made the call "Her name is Anastasia Steele; Yes, Taylor I want the full background… give me everything"

Ana took refuge from the crowd's inside a small coffee shop, she'd not stopped running, not for one second.

Ordering a black coffee, she checked her phone – **_3 missed calls, 2 voice mails and 4 messages._**

The calls were from Pearce, she didn't need to listen to the voicemails to know what they said; Jack was a top Client and there's no way He wouldn't have been in touch with Pearce to report Her tardiness.

Opening the messages, Ana prepared herself for the abuse.

 _ONE MESSAGE FROM PEARCE – Ana where the hell are you? Jack has called me… you had better have a damn good excuse you stupid bitch!'_

 _ONE MESSAGE FROM PEARCE – 'Fuck Ana! I do not like to be ignored, if you aren't with Jack within the hour I'll be coming to find you and I will find you Ana!'_

 _ONE MESSAGE FROM JACK – 'I appear to have gotten you into trouble Miss Steele, my sincere apologies… why don't you come to our special place and I'll smooth things over with Pearce for you'_

 _ONE MESSAGE FROM C – 'Anastasia, just so you know, I'm not giving up on you… I don't give up on something I want'_

She re-red his message over and over again, He wasn't giving up on her! Ana felt tears threaten her eyes and she typed her response.

 _TO C – 'Christian, please don't make this harder for me'_

"Now for the next one" she whispered to herself.

TO JACK – 'I'm sorry for tonight, Jack… I hope you can forgive me? I'll meet you at 'our' place in an hour'

She decided against making any kind of contact with Pearce, with a bit of luck Jack might stay true to his word and rectify the situation for her.

Christian looked across from his laptop as his phone flashed up….

 _ONE MESSAGE FROM ANASTASIA STEELE - 'Christian, please don't make this harder for me'_

Throwing his phone onto his desk He opened the attachment that had arrived in his inbox.

Subject: Anastasia Steele

Nationality: American

Sex: Female

Age: 22

Status: Single

Occupation: Escort

Address: 16 Radlett Way, EC1 (Owned by a Mr. Pearce Anderson)

"Pearce Anderson…" Christian said the name aloud, there was something very familiar about it, He'd heard that name before.


	9. Chapter 9

**** I've had a lot of questions about Ana, Christian and Pearce... rest assured, all will be revealed in good time, thank you for giving my story a chance****

Christian had spent his weekend finding out all he possibly could about Anastasia Steele, if his head wasn't full of her before, it was now. He knew everything there was to know.

Father – Unknown

Mother – Alcoholic & Addict

She'd moved in with her grandmother aged 13 and for those few Years she'd lived a life just like any normal teenager. He couldn't help but smile as He'd read of her success, graduating at 17 and proving to everyone she could make something of herself, after taking Summer School classes.

But then after suddenly loosing her Grandmother to a stroke she'd fallen in with the wrong crowd, she met Pearce and the rest was history.

He'd asked Taylor to look into Pearce Anderson, but He was proving to be quite the difficult case and this made Christian feel uneasy.

It was 1:00 AM Monday morning and Christian hadn't slept in almost 36 hours, sleep wasn't something he frequently needed, his body functioned just fine without it.

He'd decided to work on the new Property expansion in New York, Christian dabbled in many businesses, it had become quite the hobby for him and it seemed to be the only thing that distracted him from thinking about Her.

Thunder cracked in the outside world and rain lashed against the window's, He hoped Anastasia wasn't out in it, He knew her 'career choice' had her out this time of night.

"Damn'it" He grumbled, it had almost been a whole hour that she'd not made herself at home in his head.

Changing the playlist on his iPod to something a little less subdued Christian decided a visit to his well equip gym might be just what He needed; since meeting her his sex life had gone AWOL and punishing his body seemed the only solace to the lack of physical interaction.

Just as Christian grabbed a bottle of water and a fresh towel the intercom buzzed, frowning he threw the towel around his neck.

"what is it Barney?"

"Uh, a Miss. Anastasia Steele to see you, Sir?"

"Send her up please" Christian tried desperately to disguise the surprise and anticipation, 'the fuck is wrong with you, Grey!?' he muttered to himself 'man up!'

"Of course, Mr. Grey"

Barney's response seemed hesitant and Christian couldn't shake off the feeling of unease as He waited, watching the lift move up each floor, every stop bringing her closer to him.

He rushed forwards, forgetting about the bottle of water and gently dropping to his knees he supported her head with the crook of his elbow, cradling her against his lap.

It took all of his control not to demand answers, she wasn't in any state to withstand an interrogation, instead he whispered soothing words against her forehead, careful not to come into contact with her bruised eye, brushing hair from the congealed pools of blood He rocked her back and forth "it's ok, Anastasia… you're safe now, I'll keep you safe"

She forced a smile, licking her swollen lip as she forced out a response "I…I'm sorry, Christian, I…. I know this isn't your problem, I just didn't…."

He silenced her, planting a gentle kiss against her chin "You aren't a problem, Anastasia! Not for me… I'm not going to demand answers right now, but know that at some point I am going to have to know who did this to you!"

His fist balled at his side as he struggled against the rage that flowed through his veins "come on" he mumbled against her hair "lets get you cleaned up!"

Ana's limbs relaxed against him, the familiar scent of him drawing her in, allowing her to take cover in his safety.

She felt relief spread through her as they passed 'that' room, instead turning left at the end of the vast corridor.

She felt sudden and unexpected panic as Christian lay her in the middle of the bed, it was the largest bed she'd ever seen, in the largest bedroom she'd ever been in… and she had been in a lot of bedrooms!

Her body protested as she attempted to sit up, her hand sliding against the silk material beneath her.

"No! don't, Anastasia, just stay there… I'll be back"

His hand softly pushed against her shoulder, urging her to lay down once more, she didn't protest.

It was only now that she truly appreciated his masculine beauty, He stood back, gazing down at her, a pair of grey track pants folded down at the waist, a navy blue t-shirt clinging to his perfectly formed chest, his eyes full of concern.

She wanted to call him back, she didn't want to loose the overwhelming presence of him again…

Ana needn't of worried, Christian appeared again almost as quickly as he had left, this time he wasn't empty handed; setting the steaming bowl on the glass bedside table He wrung out a white face cloth, sweeping back her hair from her forehead as he pensively dabbed the soft material against her wounds.

She hadn't expected such tenderness from him, and she found herself fixated on him.

Christian's face was the last thing Ana could remember, the darkness took hold of her, forcing her away from him and into an exhausted sleep.

Christian had stayed with her, watching as her eyes closed, he didn't leave her side until he could be sure she was truly asleep, he didn't want her to wake up and find herself in a strange room, with him gone.

Dumping the bowl and cloth into his bathroom sink Christian gripped hold of the basin, looking deep into the mirror before him, the veins in his arms bugling as he tightened his grip.

In that moment he made a silent promise to himself, Christian wouldn't let it happen again! Anastasia Steele was now under his care and no one would hurt her now, not her Pimp, not her Clients and not him.

Forgetting his earlier plans to spend time in the gym Christian padded into his study, picking up his phone he pressed 'speed dial 1'

"Taylor, I need some clothes suitable for Miss, Steele, yes bring them here, she will be staying with me now"


	10. Chapter 10

Sunlight threatened her eyes and Ana reluctantly eased them open, her injuries momentarily forgotten as she stretched… and there it came, searing pain tore through her ribs.

She licked against her bottom lip, wincing as a metallic taste filled her mouth.

"Where does it hurt, Anastasia?"

Memories of the night before came rushing back and Ana struggled to focus.

Christian sat in faded blue jeans, a crisp white shirt, dark stubble evident on his jaw, He looked exhausted, beautiful but exhausted.

Ana attempted to support herself on her forearms, her body giving way and forcing her back down again.

Christian moved closer, his hand reached out as He rested it gently against her leg "No, don't move! My Doctor should be here within the hour"

Ana shook her head "I… I'm fine! It's really not necessary, Christian! If I could just use your shower, I'll be out of your way soon"

"You are not going anywhere, Anastasia. You'll stay right there and let me take care of you"

A feeling of panic washed over her as her eyes darted about the generous room "my bag? My phone? Where is my stuff, Christian? I need to… Oh god! I need to go! I need to get out of here!"

Ignoring the pain Ana forced herself up, her head throbbed and her ribs felt like she'd been hit by a very fast moving car.

Her eyes widened as she realised her dress was absent and only a light blue shirt covered her body.

She snatched the cover about herself and met with Christian's eyes, He knelt before her, hands resting on her thighs as he spoke slow and clear.

"It doesn't matter, Ana…." _He'd called her Ana!_

She felt the bed dip slightly as he sat down, focusing his attention on her eye, his fingers stroking gently over her brow.

"I need to know what happened, Anastasia… who did this to you?" She felt ashamed, pathetic and helpless "I think we both know who did this to me, Christian… its really not something I want to go over, it won't help"

He narrowed his eyes "won't help who, Anastasia?" She couldn't bring herself to answer.

"You can't let him get away with this! I won't let him get away with it! He needs to suffer for what he's done to you!"

Ana prepared her response as a light tap on the door saved her, Christian glared at the person entering, only to soften as a kind faced lady entered, a briefcase in hand.

Christian stood and approached the lady, giving her a warm embrace.

"Margret, thank you so much for coming at such short notice, this is Anastasia Steele"

Christian looked to Ana, his eyes soft and concerned "Margret will take care of you, Anastasia… I'll give you both some privacy"

Ana felt a loss as He left the room, but Margret quickly put her at ease.

Christian collared Taylor, beckoning him to his study, closing the heavy dark wooden door, He perched on the edge of his desk, frustration bubbling inside him at his lack of control on the situation "do we have anything on Pearce Anderson yet, Taylor?"

"I'm afraid not. Mr Grey, I've got Barney looking into it further, we will find more Sir, I just need time"

Christian nodded, Taylor had been his most trusted member of staff for 4 Years and he knew that he'd not let him down.

"Thank you, Taylor… and the clothes for. Miss Steele?"

"It's all taken care of. Sir, I've put them in the 'Pink room' wardrobe, all ready"

Christian jumped to his feet as Margret appeared in front of him "she's a wonderful young lady, Christian"

He smiled weakly "how is she? Is there any… permanent damage?" lowering his eyes to the floor, they both knew what he meant.

Margret rested her hand against his forearm "No lasting damage, Christian… but mentally… well, I'm not so sure. She's been through an awful lot, go careful with her, my Dear"

She didn't need to say anymore; DR. Margret Webber had been his consultant for long enough to know what his lifestyle entailed.

Christian decided to leave Ana resting, and instead spent some much needed time in the gym, finishing off with a hot shower. He pulled on a fresh set of grey sweatpants and a clean white shirt.

The sky outside turning to a vibrant orange as the sun began to set, leading the way for the night.

Ana awoke to the sound of mellow music… jazz perhaps, her stomach rumbled as the smell of garlic drifted into the room.

She apprehensively put one foot to the ground, careful not to make any sudden movements; the ache in her ribs had been something she'd grown used to in the Years of being with Pearce, but the beating had been worse this time, he'd been so angry, hatred roared in his eyes as she curled up into a ball, attempting to protect herself as best possible.

Closing her eyes and taking in a deep breath Ana pushed the disturbing images from her mind.

She found a pair of black yoga pants and a light pink t-shirt on the chair opposite the bed, they fitted perfectly.

Ana walked cautiously over to the large silver framed wall mirror and felt bile gather in her throat; it wasn't her, the girl staring back was gaunt and pale, a significant purple and black bruise had stamped itself around her left eye and down onto her cheek.

Biting back the threat of tears She took the hair-tie from her wrist and scraped her hair into a bun, it wasn't ideal but she'd done the best she could.

Christian looked up instantly, holding his breath as to not revolt in horror at the pitiful woman that stood before him.

He wanted desperately to take her in his arms and protect her from the World, but instead he motioned to the large leather sofa "sit, Anastasia… before you fall"

His heart sinking as the usually rebellious reaction was replaced by a weak smile and obedience to his order.

"Are you hungry?"

She didn't respond, just shook her head and focused on her hands as fingers intertwined nervously.

Turning off the hob Christian moved cautiously closer to her, careful not to dominate her space.

He positioned himself on the armchair opposite, his eyes never leaving her pained face "Anastasia, we need to talk about what happened, do you think you can do that?"

She finally lifted her gaze to meet with his, her blackened eye bloodshot and swollen, the other full of sadness and uncertainty.

"I shouldn't be here, Christian… if he…" she caught herself and forced composure as she took an unsteady breath "I just can't be here, it's not safe"

Christian dropped onto his knees before her, unlinking her hands as He took them in his own, his voice as though he were trying to coax a child "why is it not safe? Anastasia, this is the safest place for you right now! Whoever it is that you are running from, he won't stand a chance of getting within breathing distance of you! My Security detail is second to none! I've got 3 layers around this apartment! and even if they managed to scale the building and avoid confrontation… they would still need to get past me! I mean it when I say none will hurt you again, Anastasia!"

She felt instant admiration for the man before her, he hadn't banked on being stuck with a responsibility like this the day they had met, he'd just wanted to satisfy his very particular needs, and now look at him… on his knees, pleading with her to succumb to his protection; Her mother had been right… she did bring trouble to every door she arrived at.

But what other choice did she have!? Christian Grey was her only hope.


	11. Chapter 11

****I apologise for the huge delay in the update - I've been really busy with work and life in general, hope you enjoy the update****

It had been almost a week, the bruises were fading, the pain subsiding and Anastasia had felt safer and more stable than she could ever remember feeling before.

Christian hadn't gone back to work since she arrived, despite her insistence that she would be ok; careful to leave him alone in his study during the day Ana busied herself in the kitchen, memories of hours spent baking with her grandmother came flooding back.

Despite her pleading Christian hadn't returned her phone, he had promised that it had been destroyed so Pierce had no way of tracking her; the earlier panic was still there, but now lay dormant, replaced by a creeping feeling of contentment.

Christian still kept his distance, the wardrobe in her newly appointed bedroom had suddenly been filled with outfits carefully chosen for her, perfume and make up displayed on the glass dressing table unit and the en-suite held every feminine toiletry available.

Christian's home was opening itself to her and she couldn't help but revel in the comfort of its embrace.

"Something smells good" Ana smiled to herself, she hadn't realised how good it would feel to take care of someone.

"That would be lasagne, hope you're hungry?"

She felt her body respond instantly to the sudden closeness of him as He opened the fridge, taking out two bottles of beer.

"Starved!" he purred as he leaned over her shoulder, the closeness of him causing panic and Ana reacted without thought, spinning suddenly, her breasts pressed against his chest.

She held her breath as his eyes locked with hers, his hand moving cautiously as he cupped her cheek, she leant into his touch, everything about him felt right.

"Anna, you've been here almost a week… we need to talk about him! We need to talk about what happened"

She cast her gaze down but he placed his thumb beneath her chin, urging her back to him again "why won't you let me in, Ana?" his voice a gentle whisper.

"Because once I do, you won't look at me the same way again, Christian!" he frowned, his eyes studying her for answers "I know you, Ana, and… I understand… please just trust me"

She stepped back, away from him and instantly saw the rejection in his expression "Christian, you couldn't possibly understand! You have more in common with Pearce then you do me! You want to control women, treat them like property…" she could sense the impact her words were having on him, his jaw clenched and a sadness in his eyes, but she couldn't stop, not now.

"you hurt women, Christian! Just like him! And you get a kick out of it, you're addicted to the power it gives you; and you might be satisfied for now but eventually that power that you feel, it'll need refreshing. You want me to talk to you? Tell you how I lived my life, trust you? Well I don't want to! I'm done with being controlled, Christian… I won't play that game anymore"

Christian felt the inner struggle tearing him apart, his heart telling him to open up to her, to tell her everything… but his head told a different story.

Breaking the tension, she turned away from him, her voice controlled and final "I don't think this is a good idea, Christian… me being here, it's not healthy for either of us and I've taken full advantage of your generosity but I think it's time for me to leave"

Panic took over his every thought and he blurted the words out before his brain had a chance to recognise what he was saying…

"I've been though this before, Ana! I lost her… she was so innocent, so loving… and I lost her, I let her leave and she never came back! It tore me apart"

He sunk to the floor, his knees pressed against his chest as an overwhelming sadness came upon him and he couldn't help but let it escape.

Ana instantly dropped to her knees before him, resting her hands on his shoulders, she felt the shaking of his body and struggled to bite back her own tears; how could a man so powerful and commanding loose it all so suddenly.

She stayed with him, not moving, just letting him know he wasn't alone, the daylight replaced by dusk and a sudden silence replaced his sobs.

Christian finally broke away from the shell he'd cocooned himself inside, his eyes red but that rugged beauty still very much evident.

"I'm sorry" he murmured, a half hearted smile catching his mouth briefly.

"I didn't mean to unload on you like that, Ana… it was unfair of me"

She shook her head, concerned eyes observing the sadness in his face "I think this is the least I can do, Christian!"

Moving back slowly Ana allowed him the room to stand but instead he sat back, stretching his legs in front of him.

He studied her carefully, working out whether to explain or just leave the moment where it had ended, he settled on the latter.

"Her name was Mia" He smiled fondly "She was the centre of my Universe since the day she was born… everyone fell in love with her the moment they met her"

He looked up at her "she would have liked you, Anastasia…. She'd think you're a good influence on me, she was always prying into my life, Mia wanted nothing more than for me to settle down, get married some day…."

Ana focused on his words, a thousand questions swirled around inside her head but she didn't voice them, she couldn't risk him closing down, this was the most Christian had ever spoken about himself.

His brow furrowed, eyes clouded over and the earlier wistful expression had left him "I should have done more to stop her! I should have intervened… been stronger willed, but my Mother stopped me! I didn't know this would happen, if I'd known…"

Ana reached out, placing her hand on top of his, her thumb circling slowly as she attempted to sooth his panic "if you'd known what, Christian?"

"If I'd known that we would never see her again, never know if she is even still alive… If I'd known her going would create such an irreparable hole in my Family, if I'd known it would be the cause of my Mother taking her own life!"


	12. Chapter 12

He'd said too much, why had he told her that!? Why did he go that far! She didn't need to know… it didn't impact her life; she wouldn't benefit from this conversation; she'd just think his whole family completely unstable.

Standing suddenly, He turned his attention to the stove, his gaze directed over her shoulder.

"so… lasagne? Do you fancy a bottle of white or red? I myself prefer red with dark meat, I think it brings…."

"Christian! Stop it!" she urged, with a hint of desperation in her voice "don't pretend that didn't just happen! Talk to me… maybe I can help…"

His feelings deepened for her as she looked at him with those pleading eyes, concern etched all over her face; Christian realised in that moment that he had never met a woman like Anastasia before, not even close.

There were no ulterior motives, she didn't want anything that he couldn't give her.

Placing his hand against her waist he guided her towards the island in the kitchen, she followed his instruction, allowing him to control the situation in the hope that he might reveal more.

Ana welcomed the glass of red wine that he placed before her, his distance at the other side of the island not so welcomed.

Taking a large gulp of wine, he gave her a long hard look, that intimidation still hadn't melted and she felt her heart race.

"She was 21 when she left" He smiled reminiscently "Mia had high hopes and big expectations of the world, she saw the good in everyone and didn't believe me when I tried to convince her that the world could be a dark and dangerous place… I wish I'd tried harder now!"

Ana focused her attention on his words, taking in every detail, desperate not to miss anything.

Finding her voice, she questioned him gently, not wanting to probe too deeply "Where did she go?"

"To live her big dreams in the Big Apple… she went to stay with an old College friend in New York, I should have known when she left it all seemed a little to good to be true!"

Christian traced the rim of the glass with his forefinger, he couldn't stop now… he should have stopped at the first mention of her name, but now he was lost in the memories of the past.

"She kept her promise at first, calling me once a week, emailing me every day… but then the calls became shorter, the emails stopped coming…"

His finger stilled and He lifted his eyes back to her, the darkness within them causing her skin to prickle.

"The last time I spoke with her we argued… I said some things I'm not proud of, I didn't mean any of it though, I really didn't… I was just worried about her, Ana"

"She's lucky, Christian… I'd have given anything to have a brother that looked out for me, someone to tell me when I'm making a mistake"

Taking another large swig of wine, he offered a false smile "I'm not sure that Mia would have agreed with you there"

"what did you argue about?"

He hesitated before answering "the Company she was keeping"

Before Ana could question him any further Christian stalked around the island, his eyes still locked with hers, his movements fluid and focused, like a predator observing its prey.

She found herself holding her breath as he lifted his hand, tracing the dip in her collarbone as his fingers made their journey to the back of her neck.

That familiar feeling came upon her once more, that feeling she got whenever he was close.

She wanted to draw her gaze from his intense stare, but found herself lost in him.

His voice broke her dreamlike state, each word drifting over her, offering warmth "I'm sorry for the way I treated you, Anastasia… I'm sorry for the way he treated you"

Releasing her bottom lip from between her teeth she tilted her head, taking pleasure in his skilled fingers as they massaged against her neck and shoulders, his breath teasing her ear as his whispered gently "I feel like you're about to leave my life, Ana… I can't loose you too"

His nose nuzzled against her hair and he inhaled deeply, she squirmed under his touch, her body taking pleasure in his closeness.

"I'm not yours to loose, Christian…"

His hand lowered down her back, his forefinger following the curve of her spine, his mouth now closer and she felt his lips brush against her ear "but you should be, Anastasia…"

Turning her head towards him she caught her mouth against the stubble on his cheek, he pulled back slightly his mouth inches from hers, his firm chest pressed against her breasts, hands resting against her thighs as he nudged his nose against her top lip.

"I don't know how much longer I can wait, Ana" he murmured, his breathing shallow, the wanting in his eyes obvious.

"What are you waiting for?" she responded, her body telling him everything he needed to know, diminishing any doubts he may have had.

Ana's words were the green light he'd been waiting for, Christian wrapped his arms around her waist, she weighed a pitiful amount and he lifted her with ease onto the countertop.

Saying a silent thanks he hitched up the flimsy material of her dress, exposing soft, olive skin.

He felt the shiver travel through her body as his palms slid further up; He lifted his gaze and marvelled in obvious pleasure on her face.

She lazed back on her forearms, her head tilted slightly, tendrils of hair hanging down her back as she closed her eyes, a light moan escaping her lips.

Encouraged further Christian linked his forefinger and thumb beneath the waistband of her underwear, smiling with satisfaction as she lifted herself, granting him permission to slide the silky material down her thighs.

She opened her eyes suddenly, a brief moment of panic descending upon him… worried that she might call time on the moment before it had even begun.

Instead she watched him intently, her bottom lip clutched desperately against her teeth, her chest rising and falling and a deep hunger evident in her eyes.

The corner of his mouth lifted as he positioned himself between her legs, pulling her closer unit her felt her moulded to his chest, the intensity growing by the second.

Ana wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer still and teasing his mouth with the tip of her tongue.

"Guess you're not waiting anymore, Christian" she teased, a light giggle leaving her mouth.

Sliding his hand from her waist He thrust it further up her thigh, closing his eyes as his index finger slid against her.

"guess you don't want me to wait anymore… Anastasia" he groaned against her kiss.

Ana felt an uncontrollable surge of pleasure ripple through her entire body, every muscle ached for him and every touch threatened to send her over the edge, she knew once she started falling, she'd never stop.

His fingers worked expertly against her, keeping momentum, encouraged by her response.

Desperation took hold suddenly as she grasped at the material of his shirt "please, Christian… please… I want… I need…"

He smiled against her neck, his teeth threatening her skin "please what, Anastasia? What is it…. What do you need?"

Her breath caught as he slid his forefinger inside her, the room started to spin "I need you, I need more... please, Christian"

It was all he needed to hear, dropping his hand he freed himself from the constraints of his sweatpants, the sudden freedom causing him to harden even further, realisation struck and Ana wriggled forwards, wrapping her legs about his waist, a long slow moan encouraging him as he allowed himself to sink deep inside her, she was everything that he needed and he took all that she offered.

Ana struggled to contain the sudden feeling of contentment as she nuzzled herself closer to his side, their bodies naked and intertwined, just the heat of the nearby fire reminding her of their exposure.

Christian lay dormant, his chest rising and falling slowly, silence filled the room and Ana reluctantly broke it.

"Christian, what company was Mia keeping that you didn't agree with?"

The initial response was further silence, eventually exhaling deeply Christian sat up "leave it, Anastasia, please just let it go… it's done, I've learned to live without her in my life, my family has reluctantly re-built itself from the remains, no conversation will improve the outcome"

She watched as he stood suddenly, pulling his jeans on; he extended his hand towards her, accepting his offer Ana allowed him to pull her to her feet, she found herself drawn into his stare, those dark eyes penetrating through her.

"Maybe you've just not had that conversation with the right person, Christian… why don't you give me a go?"

He studied her intently, his gaze flicking over her face, down over her breasts "I can think of plenty of things I'd rather give a go with you, Anastasia"

His fingertips ran back and forth against her arms, her senses heightened following their recent encounter and she struggled to concentrate on anything other than his touch.

She forced herself to create distance between them, pulling her navy cotton dress back over her body, she turned away from him ready to serve up the food that had likely burnt in the oven.

Christian's hand took grip around her wrist, tugging her back towards him, her body meeting with his under a sudden impact, pushing his hand through the back of her hair he stared intently into her eyes, his thumb brushing against her lips as he cradled the back of her head with his palm.

"What are you doing to me, Anastasia Steele!?"

"I'm trying to know you, Christian… but you won't let me!" she whispered softly, her bottom lip catching against his thumb.

"What do you want to know?" his sudden question caught her off-guard but she couldn't let this chance pass her by.

"Tell me more about Mia" He smiled weakly and guided her towards the kitchen, taking two more bottles of beer from the fridge and handing one to her he gestured for her to take a seat, perching on one of the leather stools she took a sip of the ice cold liquid, welcoming the relief it offered.

"She was trusting, too trusting… Mia saw the good in everyone and that was her biggest mistake. I tried to warn my parents when she announced that she was leaving… they wouldn't listen though, they insisted on letting her make her own way in life… a decision my father completely regrets now"

Christian hesitated and Ana feared he might close up again "when did you last hear from her?"

She held her breath in waiting for a response.

"It's been 5 years since anyone heard from her, I had the best investigators trying to track her down, for months they interviewed the people around her… I went to New York, looked for the club she'd been working at but no one could, or should I say would tell me anything.

The Police warned me to keep away, they warned me not to get personally involved!"

He scoffed and shook his head, taking a large gulp of beer "as if it wasn't already personal, she was my sister and they kept hitting dead ends!"

Ana cleared her throat, an uneasy feeling upon her "what did the owner of the club say when the Police interviewed him?"

Christian frowned at her question "how did you know it was a him?"

"Oh, I didn't… I just… well I guess I just presumed"

Her response seemed to satisfy him.

"He said didn't know of any girls working for him called Mia, he recognised her though, when the Police showed him a photo… He said she'd been one of his best workers, she pulled in the crowds…."

Christian clenched his jaw, his grip tightening on the bottle.

As uncomfortable as it felt Ana met his gaze "what kind of club was it, Christian?"

He picked at the label on the bottle of beer, turning his attention away from her.

"It was a strip club, Anastasia… a strip club that preyed on young girls, promising them more money than they knew what to do with! Promising that they'd protect them, keep them safe!"

Ana felt the colour drain from her face, those promises sounded very familiar "do you remember what the club was called?"

He lifted his focus back on her, narrowing his eyes as he noticed the visible distress upon her face.

"I haven't forgotten a single detail, Anna…. The club was called 'The Lounge'"

Ana felt her stomach turn, the room closed in on her and she struggled to catch her breath.

If Christian thought he hated Pierce now, what the hell was he going to do when he found out that Peirce had owned the club his sister worked in.


	13. Chapter 13

Christian had reluctantly gone into the office, Anastasia reassured him that she would be ok; he wasn't convinced but he realised that he had been away for almost a week already and as much as he trusted his staff, he needed to maintain control.

Closing the lid of his laptop Christian stood and paced in front of the floor to ceiling windows that stretched along the back of his office, pausing to observe the small dots below, hundreds of people going about their day, all oblivious to his inner battles.

His mind drifted to Ana, much as it always did whenever she wasn't in front of him.

He could still feel her, taste her, she surrounded him. They hadn't spent the remainder of the previous night together, despite their interaction, both physical and verbal; she had gone cold the more he'd spoken about Mia and soon after made her excuses to have a bath and get an early night… women had always confused the hell out of him.

A light tap on his office door disturbed his trail of thoughts, sighing he acknowledged the intrusion "Come in"

Elena walked in, her platinum blonde hair immaculate as always, long legs exposed the crack of heels against polished wooden floor as she sauntered into the office.

"What can I do for you, Elena?" He perched at the edge of the large glass desk, she stopped just short of him, that same seductive look in her eyes.

"Oh you could do a plethora of thing's for me, Christian…" lowering her hand she trailed a forefinger back and forth over his thigh.

An unfamiliar discomfort came over him and Christian moved out of her reach, securing himself on the large cream, leather chair behind his desk.

Resigning herself to the instant rejection Elena took residence in the chair opposite, pushing a folder towards Christian "here's the list of local Gentlemen's clubs you requested, Christian"

Interest peaking, he flicked through the papers, his eyes scanning over the names "thank you, Elena"

He noticed her obvious intention to stay, exhaling with frustration as he put the folder down again "Is there anything else, Elena?"

"Well I find myself wondering, Christian… wondering why on earth you'd need that list, I fail to believe that you are suddenly hard up of offers! And if you do find yourself going through a…. dry spell… you know I'm more than happy to oblige"

The corner of his mouth twitched, he had pleasant memories of his time with Elena, she had been his first beneficial 'friend' the first to be introduced to his 'play-room' but that was stuck firmly in the past now, 3 Years in the past, and that is where it was going to stay.

"That will be all thank you, Elena…"

Pouting she stood and made to exit the room, making sure to give her hips just the right amount of wiggle as she walked.

"Oh and Elena!" Christian called after her "please cancel my Afternoon meetings, I'll be going home early"

Ana couldn't keep still, she attempted to distract herself between making cupcakes, reading and looking through the variety of outfits that had magically adorned the wardrobe in her room.

Christian Grey had taken permanent residence in her head and she couldn't shake him.

She considered leaving, escaping before he came home… but then quickly realised that not being around him was the last thing in the World she wanted; and besides… she had nowhere to go!

For the first time in her life Ana had the option of freedom, but it was a freedom she didn't want.

She had tried to block the memories of last nights' conversation from her mind, wishing she had never pressed Christian for answers but now it was too late.

Ana suddenly noticed the phone Christian had given her light up.

 _ONE MESSAGE FROM CHRISTIAN GREY 'put the red velvet dress on, we're going to dinner, I'll meet you in the car'_

She felt the threat of rebellion, but the thought of taking certain orders from Christian thrilled her.

"When you said we were going to dinner I didn't quite expect this, Christian…" Ana stared open mouthed at the private rooftop terrace, the lights of a thriving City sparkling all around them.

Topping up her wine glass Christian smiled warmly, the women he'd taken company with hadn't been inexperienced to the luxuries in life, unlike Ana… she enabled him to experience everything through fresh eyes.

"What did you expect?" He fixed an intense stare upon her, noticing her cheeks flush.

"I… I'm not quite sure, I guess you constantly surprise me, Christian" the silence that followed gave a level of discomfort, Ana knew the previous night was hanging over them, a conversation neither she or Christian were prepared to broach.

"I'm sorry about last night, Christian, it was all a little intense" He nodded with understanding, his slender fingers toying with the stem of his glass, the light breeze carrying his scent over her body, causing her senses to come alive.

"I can understand that, Ana… I guess it was a little full throttle, I'd promised myself I wouldn't do it to you… guess my promises mean shit right now!"

There was a brief interruption as a waitress seemingly appeared from thin air and presented them with a bottle of champagne, Ana had never tried champagne before, the bubbles causing her to giggle childishly as they popped against her nose.

Christian smiled fondly "Mia loved champagne, our family always joked that she craved the finer things in life… I'd give anything to spoil her again…"

Ana felt the stab of guilt twist in her stomach once more, her need to change the subject became desperate.

"What happened to your Mother, Christian?" her eyes seeking a reaction from him.

Christian's attention became fixed on her hands, she felt uneasy but continued regardless, hesitating briefly Anna reached out, resting her fingers gently over his knuckles "you can tell me, Christian… I'm not going to run out on you"

She knew he'd be thinking of her cold reaction the previous night.

He finally broke the tension surrounding her question "She devoted her whole life to her Children, Mia was her first and only girl… she doted on her even more than I did. When we lost her, my mother… she… well she couldn't cope.

We all did what we could to support her, I hired the best private detectives, I put pressure on the Police dealing with her case, I tried to keep the case open, Ana… I really did!"

His hand balled into a fist and she could feel the vein throbbing against her fingers "ssshh it's ok, Christian.. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked, you don't have to talk about it… really you don't"

Composing himself Christian took a gulp of champagne "no, it's ok – I'm just not used to talking, the feeling… it's… alien to me"

He finally lifted his attention to her, those cool grey eyes holding her in their embrace.

"So the Police just closed the case? They… never… what I mean is, they… didn't…"

"They didn't ever find her, Anastasia… they didn't find her alive or dead. The case was closed, just one amongst hundreds of other 'Missing Persons' cases, they'd exhausted all avenues, any initial suspects were cleared… including the owner of the Club!"

Clearing her throat Ana snatched back her hand, lifting it to her neck in an attempt to cool the sudden flush of heat she felt across her skin.

"Did… you… did you, uh… ever meet him? When you were over there?"

Christian narrowed his eyes with interest "No… I didn't, all I know is that He was a big shot on the club scene, the Police put red tape around the entire investigation… I had Taylor look into it further but whoever he was, he remained deep undercover and difficult to track down"

Ana felt relief wash over her, grateful for the interruption of food as the waiter returned, she chewed thoughtfully on a mouthful of chicken, she now had a decision to make, now that the threat of Christian finding out about Pearce had been put firmly into her hands.


	14. Chapter 14

Christian felt an unfamiliar warmth as he recalled their evening, opening a bottle of champagne he waited eagerly for Anna to join him, she had momentarily excused herself to 'freshen up'

He hadn't voluntarily spoken about Mia or the death of his mother to anyone except for Dr. Flynn and it was surprisingly liberating.

Despite the progress of his relationship with Ana he felt a deep and dark dissatisfaction, an uncontrollable craving, there was something that she hadn't yet been able to give him, something that he craved.

Interrupting his trail of thought Ana appeared before him, the red velvet dress replaced with a floor length cream, silk robe, it was a welcomed distraction and he felt himself harden at the thought of what might be beneath the soft drape of material.

"You looked deep in thought" she observed "anything I can help with?"

Reaching out Christian tugged against the belt, causing the material to fall apart, a gasp caught in her throat as his hungry eyes took in every inch of her soft, creamy skin.

"You can absolutely help, Anastasia… removing ALL of your clothes might be a good place to start"

He smiled lazily, his body relaxed as he sat back on the leather sofa, his eyes feasting upon her.

"Like this you mean?" Anastasia slid the silk material of her robe over her shoulders, allowing it to fall to the ground.

"Carry on" Christian instructed, his desire for her increasing by the second it felt like a current of electricity surging through his veins.

Taking pleasure in his response Ana dropped her bra into his lap, linking her fingers underneath the waistband of her panties as she wriggled free.

And there she was, stood before him completely giving herself to him.

"Do you trust me, Anastasia?" He searched her face for uncertainty, the delay in her response causing his hope to plummet.

"I trust you more than I've trusted anyone, Christian" her response full of honesty and passion.

Unable to control the hunger any longer Christian met her body as his hands pushed into the back of her hair, the light brush of her nipples against his shirt sending a vibration of desire through his body.

"Come with me…" he whispered against her mouth.

Ana remembered this room, she recalled vivid memories of the last time she had stood exposed before him, an edge of doubt fought against her willingness to please him; somehow sensing her reservations Christian dragged the pad of his thumb along her mouth.

His voice husky and deep "I promise you that we won't do anything you aren't comfortable with, Anastasia… do you understand?"

She nodded in response and lifted her gaze to his intense stare, the whole time his hands running back and forth over her hips, Ana gasped as she felt his palm press against her lower stomach, the build up of pressure crying for release as he circled his finger slowly against her, leaving her body in a state of absolute submission.

Ana opened her eyes as the intense pleasure suddenly stopped, she was met with delight as Christian stood before her, his shirt disregarded, his lean athletic body inviting; dropping her attention to his hands Ana gasped.

"You still trust me, Anastasia?" He wound the black rope through his fingers, veins straining against his forearms.

"I do, Christian" she responded with certainty.

Ana felt her heart thud against her chest, a constant rhythmic beat, a gentle whimper escaping her as Christian tightened the knot, opening her palms Ana curled her grip around the post of the bed, she had no option but to bend over, her exposure to him causing a thrill to travel through her entire body. Ana had been in many compromising situations, nothing on this level though, nothing so intense.

"What now?"

His breath warm against her ear "this" he whispered hoarsely; the sudden impact of him filling her caused Ana to call his name, every thrust building pleasure, her inability to move causing further excitement, she was completely at his mercy and she had never felt so alive.

The fire crackled in the distance, Ana took comfort in the softness of the rug against her skin, her fingers toying with the light scatter of hair on Christians chest.

"Why haven't you ever settled down, Christian?"

His forefinger circled against her shoulder.

"I'm not the type, Anastasia"

"There's a type?" she questioned.

Christian smiled at her simplistic attitude towards life "well there's a type of person that is prone to being… tied down! There's a type of person that wants to share their life with someone, and I'm just not that type"

She shifted slightly and Christian felt panicked, he didn't want the moment to end, not yet.

Instead she nestled closer against him, taking security in his presence, Ana hadn't felt this kind of connection with anyone, it was as Alien to her as it was to Christian.

And then came the ultimate, burning question, asides Mia it was the one real mystery to Christian and it was something they hadn't spoken about.

"why do you enjoy causing women pain, Christian, why do you crave control?"

Ana felt the comfort of his touch become reserved, his body tensed, she shouldn't have asked.

Christian felt the familiar constriction of his chest, everything related back to Mia and his mother, every reason for his behaviour was somehow linked to them.

Ana felt vulnerable as Christian stood, his torso still beautifully on display, he had the advantage though, his jeans were still intact, wrapping her arms around her naked frame she hugged her knees to her chest.

"You ask a lot of questions, Anastasia!" he paced back and forth, his hand grasping the hair at the nape of his neck.

"This right here is exactly why I'm not the commitment type! I don't need to explain myself! I don't want to explain myself!"

Christian felt suffocated, he felt trapped and worst of all he felt obliged, like he owed her something.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to pry into your business, Christian… I just thought…. I just thought that we had something, I thought you trusted me… like I trust you…."

"It's different, Ana! It's a different kind of trust! What I want isn't someone I can tell all about my shitty day at work! Someone I can cry on because of my family dramas!"

He stopped in front of her, his eyes pleading for her understanding.

"What I want is a little company, I want someone to occupy my free time and I wanted to help you! But that's it… that's where it ends! Do you understand, Ana?"

Biting back the emotion that threatened to take hold Ana forgot her exposed state and placed herself in front of him "I understand, Christian! You don't need to explain any further!"

Her words echoed as she walked away "and I didn't ask for help, Christian… I didn't need a hero!"

Ana awoke late the next morning, sunlight beating through the gap in her bedroom curtains, the apartment held an eerie silence, she instantly knew that she had woken up alone.

Tying her robe about her waist Ana padded into the kitchen pausing as she noticed the piece of paper with her name written upon it.

'Ana,

I've had to leave for an out of Town business meeting, I'll be back tomorrow evening. If you need anything just use this card, the limit… don't forget to charge your phone!

Christian'

She spent the day cleaning, Christian of course had a Housekeeper but she had to occupy her time somehow.

The magnitude of the apartment overwhelmed her, she had seen the inside of many Clients homes but there had been nothing like this.

Dusk quickly set in, curling up on the couch Ana attempted to loose herself within the pages of one of the many books that filled the floor to ceiling shelves in Christian's office; throwing it onto the marble coffee table in frustration at her inability to concentrate Ana found her attention drifting to the phone resting on the arm of the chair.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Christian nursed a glass of whisky, the bar was quiet and he was grateful for the peace, his mind focused on Ana, their evenings had a way of ending badly and yet it didn't put him off wanting to spend every second with her.

Christian's attention diverted to his phone as the screen lit up.

 _ONE MESSAGE FROM ANASTASIA_ –

'I'm sorry'

Two very simple words caused a tsunami of feelings inside him, feelings he wasn't aware he even had; no one had ever apologised to him before, people didn't usually dare give themselves reason to have to apologise to Christian Grey!

His mouth curving into a smile Christian typed his response.

'Your apology is accepted, Anastasia. Does this mean you'll allow me to take you away for the weekend?'

Tapping the bar impatiently, Christian waited for her reply, he hadn't planned anything for the coming weekend, but that could be easily rectified, He'd take her to his lodge in Scotland, she needed a change of scenery and he needed to unwind.

 _ONE MESSAGE FROM ANASTASIA_ –

'Yes'


	15. Chapter 15

'This is a mistake; this is a mistake… this is a mistake!' the words swirled around Ana's head as she packed the last of her outfits for the Weekend, Christian had arrived home earlier that morning and announced that they would be leaving in 2 hours; his only instruction that she should pack warm clothes, walking boots and a couple of evening dresses.

"Evening dresses!" she whispered under her breath…. "what the hell is an evening dress?!"

Frustration taking charge Ana grabbed 5 dresses from the brimming closet, throwing them into a suit bag as she stole a quick glance in the dresser mirror, her hair fell into soft curls against her shoulder, she'd dressed in light blue jeans and a grey sweatshirt, opting for comfort… she was still unaware of where they were going, or how they were getting there.

"You have to tell him about Mia! This is the perfect chance, Anastasia Steele! You have got to tell him this weekend!"

Grimacing she shook her head at the reflection staring back at her "you've officially lost it! You're talking to yourself in a mirror! You're actually having a conversation with yourself in a mirror!... pull it together Steele!"

A light tap on the door interrupted her moment of madness "Are you ready, Anastasia?"

She grabbed the holdall, throwing it over her shoulder as she struggled with the suit bag… taking one last look around the bedroom before opening the door… if her revelation resulted in the way she feared it might she may never see the room that she had grown to love again.

Christian watched Ana with delight, her reaction to their journey had been that of wonder, surprise and gratitude, eyes wide and drinking in every passing scene.

He smiled warmly as they approached the large wooden cabin, poised proudly at the edge of the Loch, smoke emitting from the chimney "Christian! Does this belong to you?" she questioned with amazement.

He nodded to Taylor as he reversed the car up, moving it to the cottage down the lane.

Christian smiled warmly "it is"

Looking around in awe her beaming smile telling him everything he needed to know.

"Shall we?" he questioned, taking her hand and guiding her inside; the large hall welcomed them with it's wooden, exposed beams and tiled floor, Christian allowed Ana to proceed ahead, observing her as she explored further.

Running her hand along the plush cream sofa, the warmth from the large log fire welcoming her, a large open plan kitchen lay ahead, followed by 4 steps leading to a secondary level… stealing a glance back at Christian she ventured further.

Slipping off her shoes Ana took pleasure in the deep pile of carpet beneath her feet, a light flush spreading across her face as her eyes travelled over the King size bed, a modern en-suite bathroom adjoining, the large glass shower tempting her instantly.

Her body responding suddenly to his touch, pleasure pulsing through her as Christian placed his hands against her waist "so tell me, do you approve, Anastasia?" she felt his lips brush against her ear with each word.

Closing her eyes briefly Ana captured the memory of that exact moment, she knew that she would always remember this as the one time in her life when she felt complete.

Christian had ensured they had enough logs to last them all evening, the cupboards and fridge had been freshly stocked in preparation of their arrival and Christian had insisted on seeing to dinner whilst she took a shower.

Sweeping her hair into a messy bun Ana felt a unfamiliar comfort in non existent make up, sweat pants and a hooded sweatshirt… Pearce never would have appreciated her lack of effort… her mind was instantly transported back to the past, a vivid memory of the fresh faced and bubbly blonde, her eagerness to join the 'Team' at the club; Pearce had been all over her, which was completely typical of him when there was a 'new girl' he flattered her with meaningless compliments, telling her exactly what she needed to hear… he was an expert at that.

Ana tried to take her under wing, she had tried to warn her of exactly what she was letting herself in for, it had been too late for Ana but she felt obliged to help the blonde, she felt drawn to her.

"Dinner is served, Anastasia…"

Christian's voice broke through the journey into the past and she took solace in the realisation that he was with her, he was her safety net.

Ana beamed at the display before her, a large blanket spread out, an array of cheeses, biscuits and pickles on offer, a bottle of red wine open and two glasses already full, the only light being offered from the roaring fire and a scattering of candles.

Christian stood, eyes twinkling with pride as she met his gaze.

"Christian! It's perfect!"

The corner of his mouth lifted as he held out his hand to her "take a seat, Madam" she felt that familiar current of desire ripple through her as she clasped her hand in his and allowed him to guide her onto the blanket.

They talked non stop, mostly about Christian's business, Ana found herself drinking in his every word, he was the most interesting person she had ever met.

Raising his knee Christian rested his arm against it, his stare intense and fixed on her.

"Tell me more about yourself, Anastasia"

"There's not really much to tell, Christian… I left school with little to boast about, I fell in with the wrong crowd when my Grandmother died, met the wrong people, worked in the wrong places… found myself in England and now here I am… with you…"

The spotlight shone bright, blinding her and she desperately sought her way out of the conversation; the burning truth of what she knew was eating away at her.

"Tell me about your Grandmother, what was she like?"

Ana smiled fondly at the mention of her, asides the past few weeks spent with Christian, the time she had with her Grandmother offered the only security and happiness she had known.

"She was funny, sharp as a pin, she didn't suffer fools gladly… she was my world"

The threat of tears was very real and Ana took a large gulp of wine in an attempt to push them back.

"How did she die?" Christian's spoke with a softness he seemed to only save for her.

"It was the big C" Ana responded without looking up, her attention instead focused on the glass in her hand.

Moving closer Christian took the glass from her grip, setting it aside as he knelt in front of her, his hand lifting to the side of her face, his thumb brushing against her cheek.

Ana breathed in the delicious scent of him, her eyes gently closed as she took pleasure in his closeness.

"She raised a passionate, kind and intelligent woman, Ana… she raised a survivor"

His words churning up that feeling of intense guilt inside her "Christian… don't…."

"ssshhh, Ana you are the most brilliant person I've ever met! You bring out feelings I wasn't aware I had… you make me want to be a better person… you are truly remarkable"

She couldn't bare it anymore, the truth burned in the pit of her stomach, she had to tell him, she had to forget about her own fears, the fear of loosing him to the secret she had buried so deep.

Placing her hands on top of his Ana held on tight, perhaps he'd understand, maybe he'd forgive her.

Forcing herself to look him in the eye she somehow found the words.

"I knew Mia, Christian…"

Confusion set firmly across his face, his brows knitted in a frown.

"No, I'm… sorry, Ana but I'm confused! You can't have known Mia! Why... why would… I don't get it!? Why would you say that?"

He'd instinctively moved away, his eyes searching for an explanation, searching for something that made sense.

"I'm sorry, Christian! I'm so sorry... I should have told you sooner, I was so scared, I didn't know how you would react, I was scared you would hate me, I know how deeply the loss of her has affected you and I just, well I just thought…"

Holding up his hand he silenced her, she noticed his jaw clench, his chest rising and falling that bit more; his hand frantically rubbed against the back of his neck.

"I don't know what you hoped to achieve by feeding me this bullshit, Ana… but it's not having whatever desired effect you clearly thought it might! There is no way you could have known Mia, she's been gone 5 Years, Ana! I've barely known you a Month! Why the hell are you doing this to me?"

She winced at the obvious pain in his eyes, standing suddenly he paced back and forth, an overwhelming darkness hanging over him.

"The club that Mia worked at… Christian I worked at the same club! I remember her starting, I remember her laugh, I remember her ability to light up a room, I remember her eyes… the same eyes I look into when I'm with you!"

Dropping to his knees once more, the confusion now replaced with hope, curling his hands around her arms he spoke with determination "You knew, Mia! You know where she is! What happened to her! You've got to tell me, Ana… It's killed me every day, it's destroyed my family! Ana you can fix me… tell me where she is! TELL ME!"

Biting back against the pain as Christians grip tightened, his fingers sinking into her flesh, his mood became frantic and unpredictable.

"Christian, please… you're, you're hurting me!"

He eased his hold on her, regret evident in his attempt to relax his body "do you know where my Sister is, Ana? What happened to her, if you're afraid don't be… I won't let anything happen to you!"

She wanted to give him the answers he so desperately needed, but she couldn't, the one chance she had to be a good person was fading away and there was nothing she could do about it.

"I don't know where she is, Christian! I don't know what happened to her… she was just gone, I tried to find out where she was, Christian… you have to believe me! I tried so hard to take care of her, to protect her…"

"Protect her? Protect her from what, Ana?"

"I tried to protect her from him… from Pearce!"


End file.
